Words

Assalamualaikum. There has been a big gap between my last post with this new post. Who cares anyway. Now, I'm an INTEC student. INTEC is nice. Cendana is nice. The people are geniuses. So, I think you know how my life is right now. Struggling among the smart students, and it's stressing me out. I feel so stupid in my class. I'm not sure if I'm suppose to stay in the class. I think I should move out from the class. Urgh. I am searching for my study pace. I have yet to know how am I suppose to study. I feel horrible. Study more Luqman

I love talking but I think I just said something inappropriate to someone and I don't know which person. I should just apologize to everyone. I should stop talking.

I am feeling left out. I can't bring myself to take interest with their topics of conversation. Their talks are just plain boring.

I never know they can have a big impact in my life. I should never let myself getting attached to them.

Japan Homestay - Nagoya day 6 - 10

Assalamualaikum~ I already missed my foster family so much. I think of them everyday. I missed having breakfast with them. I missed Hiroto-chan. I missed Okaa-san and Otou-san. I missed Ryuto and Hayato. I missed the house. I missed my room. I missed the living room, I missed the toilet, I missed the bathroom. I missed everything. Huaaa! I look at the picture everyday. I missed them so much that I think I could go crazy if I stay like this. isk isk isk.

Okay okay. Enough with my japansick. I'm going to update more about my stay in Japan with my foster family. Can't I just say my family?


Day 6

I wake up as usual at 6 in the morning. Having breakfast with my otou-san and okaa-san. After otou-san went to work, I gone back to sleep. I need sleep maa and it's not like I have anything to do actually. So I woke up again at 8.30 a.m., get ready to have activities~ hehe. Around 9.00 a.m., Lotus-san and Azmel arrived at our house (yes, my foster family house of course) and then Pochi-san and Farah came. We went to Port of Nagoya Public Aquarium in one car.

Japan Homestay - Nagoya Day 1 - 5

Assalamualaikum guys. WAHHH~ For your information, I went for Japan homestay in Nagoya. The program was organised by Hiroshima International Club and Hippo Family Club Japan. Truth to be told, it was the best thing that ever happen in my life. Seriously, The. Best. Thing. Ever. I met a lot of people. I made new friends. Malaysian friends, Japanese friends. I gained new life experience. Went overseas without my family. I got a new family. Yoshimura family. My foster family which I love as much as I love my own family. I will never forget them. I promise I will come back and meet them again. I promise.

Day 1

So, the program started on January 13th 2013 - January 22nd 2013. All the participant register in KLIA Concorde Inn on 2.00 p.m. and after that we had briefing about the program. On 5.00 p.m., our orientation session begun.

           * Introduction of all the participants. We had to draw our face on a piece of paper and Nabil
              sensei collected them and were given to other people at random. So, we had to guess  who
              was drawn on the paper that we got. And then, we introduce them. So actually, we're not
              introducing ourselves, we introduce our new friends. I really enjoyed this module.

           * We had dinner. I just eat whatever I want because it's buffet . I already paid maa and I
               remember I ate a lot. fuhh. The food was so yummy.

           * We played "Traffic Jam". We sat in a row and people in group 1 and 2 must exchange place.
              This game is really tiring but exciting. It's funny when I think about it.

           * We also play "Power Up". This game is hilarious. I thought I'm gonna die playing this
              game. I laughed so hard. Sensei Fadzil laughed like he's gonna die. Seriously, this game is
              damn funny.

           * Then we had Nihongo module. yay! Some preparation for us for our communication during
              our homestay in Japan. Finally I had Japanese language teacher. After that all of us went to
              sleep.

They do not last forever

Assalamualaikum. Oh, I really missed my blog. It's been quite some time I abandon my blog. The word "abandon" is painful actually, but that's exactly what I've been doing past these several months. Okay, so what have I been through all these months while keeping my blog untouched? Hurm, I've done with my Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia. No longer a candidate, no longer a high school student. Somehow, the fact of that made me lonely.

I miss my school, I miss my class. I miss everyone of my classmates, the teachers, homeworks, text books. Oh god, I can't believe how much I miss all those. I feel like there's a hole inside my chest. I can't believe that my high school moments have already ended. I'm kinda lost right now. I want to move on, but I'm still wondering how. The thought of letting go of my high school moments is awfully painful. Maybe that's not the right way to do. I'm still wondering.

I watched Les Miserables last week. It is a musical movie based on the novel with the same name. The movie was beautiful and words can't describe how beautiful and how moving the story is. I can't let the movie out of my head. The story is tragic, sad, painful, romantic and beautiful at same time. I really love the movie. I wish to watch it again and again. I literally cried watching the movie. I love how they did with the storyline. They kept it short but it left a big impact. I can understand the emotion of Cossette when Jean Valjean dies. Their lives are always been Cossette and her god father, Jean Valjean. Jean Valjean and his adopted daughter, Cossette. It has always been the two of them. The happiness they shared, the sadness they have been through. In their lives, they only have each other. So, during the scene where Jean Valjean dies, I can't contain myself. I just cried. To me, it was so sad to lose someone that very dear in one's life. There are so many interesting and beautiful yet painful scene in the movie. just watch it.

Najid went to PLKN last week and I'm lonely.

I rewatch the entire X-men film series out of boredom. When I watch X-men First Class, I thought that the end of it, Charles Xavier is hurt emotionally and physically. He lost his sister, he lost his best friend. He lost the ability to walk by his feet. I don't think he can cope with himself after that for a while. I think it is painful to lost family member and best friend at the same time. It's hurt. But, when I watch X-men The Last Stand, it was Erik Lensherr hurt the most. He lost his trusted ally, his best friend dies before his eyes. He lost his pride when his mutation is suppressed by a "cure". It was tragic. I don't know what it feels to lost best friend, but I do know what it feels when there is no one waiting for me. It's painful and lonely. After all the "rewatching" session, I think X-men is quite tragic and sad. Erik Lensherr still consider Charles as his best friend. He defends him by saying Charles had helped mutants more than anyone would know. He keeps reciting Charles name in his action indicating that he loves his friend. A beautiful yet broken friendship.

I don't know what am I doing actually. I'm trapped inside an emotional game. I don't know if I can take it properly or I'll be emotionally broken. I don't know. Finishing school make me emotional. I know I shouldn't take the emotions too deep, but things around me don't distract me as I need.

Okay, I think I should stop. Assalamualaikum

Start here, go anywhere

Assalamualaikum~ Alhamdulillah, I passed my driving test on April 18th 2012. yay! I already got my licence and I've started driving since Friday. Well, I still lack of skill to fully control the steering system of car. Tomorrow I will start driving to school and I hope it will be okay. InsyaAllah.

Suddenly I started using my twitter again because my son had discover twitter. Search mns2295 and you'll find me.

My mid year exam starts on May 7th, 2012 and I prepared nothing. Oh chemistry~ My head gonna blow. I have a little issue with physics. I don't want to fail *cries*.

May 29th, 2012 - I will be going on a international trip to Brunei and I will be back on the June 1st, 2012. I don't know what will happen there and I hope it will be fun. I have Nafis to accompany me as Najid wont be going. I want to spend time with Najid *pouts*.

On June 12, PLBS for Pendidikan Qur'an & Sunnah and Arabic will start. On June 14 - 15, I have English debate competition at SAM Jeram. On June 18, I have National Robotic Competition (NRC), but I have to pass the Zone level to get to the State level and then the National Level. If we win, we get to compete in World Robotic Olympiad 2012. Wish us luck.

So you see, I'm gonna be very busy after the semester break. Fuhh, I hope I can handle all of this. Okay, assalamualaikum.

What life?

Assalamualaikum. Now I'm sad. I don't know why, but now I'm turning into emotional Malfujitaka. I can't stand my life. I want to go away. Please, I want to go away. People are forcing me to do things I don't even like. My friend entered the hostel and now I'm alone. I've to go to Brunnei without my friends. I've been forced to enter English debate. I'm stressing myself with the school magazines. I'm busy to catch up with my studies.

I'm a mess. I really wish that I can take all of this in a good way. But it seems hard. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of SPM. I'm scared of my test result. I don't know what to think anymore.

I want to go to my own world. Reality is painful. I want a companion but at same time I want to be alone. I can't understand my own self. I want to go somewhere else. I want to live in a new environment. I want to go away from here. I want a new life.

A new life for me.

Assalamualaikum~ Yes, I noticed that this blog hasn't been updated since my last post on Sunday, February 19, 2012. I was out of the mood to update something actually. It's not like that I don't want to blog anymore. I have a sad news to tell. My grandmother, Kaiah binti Chegnah passed away on 27 March, 12.05 P.M.. I was in school when I got the news and it shocked me that I cried in the class. I was very sad. I feel weird when I am in my father's hometown, my grandmother is not there anymore. I feel empty when the whole family gathered in that house, my grandmother is not there to smile of happiness to see all her children gather with their kids and grandchild. I felt terribly sorry out of blue. I want to see her last smile. These kind of things wander inside my mind until now. I just can't help it. I'm so sad. Al-Fatihah.

Okay, move to the next topic. I failed my JPJ test last week and I was devastated. I failed over small matters. Aarrgghhh, I was so angry at myself and the JPJ officer. But well, now I took it as my mistake. I won't point the mistake at the JPJ officer. I will swallow this and try again my best so that I won't have to repeat it again and use a large sum of my father's money. But hey, eventhough I still haven't got my driving licence, I've already use the car to go to the store. hehe. Wish me luck and pray for me for my next JPJ test.

My desire to get marry is overwhelming me recently. I really really really want to get marry right now. I wish I got money to have my wedding and to live with my wife. I want to get marry. isk isk isk.

My bestfriend will enter the hostel this Sunday. Actually, when I got the news, I went speechless. I don't want him to stay in hostel. I have no close friend if he enter the hostel. I was sad. I was really sad. Who will keep me company whenever I go to the library to study? But, if he really want to enter the hostel, I won't stop him. If he think it is the best for him, I won't stop him. It's not like we can't meet in school. We still can meet, but in a different kind of meeting since he will be busy as a hostel boy. hehe. Good luck in hostel. Don't get people mad at you. May our friendship will be the same and stronger.

But still, I will feel lonely. It means I need a new life style to be adapted. I will need to organise myself in a new way. I believe I can. Assalamualaikum.